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I was born on Oct.
23, 1961 at St. Lukes Hospital in Jacksonville. On
the 3rd day after my birth my adoptive parents received the
call they had been waiting for. The family physician,
who facilitated the adoption called and said "get your
attorney and meet us at St. Lukes to pick up your baby."
They were wonderful parents. They had already been
married 11 years and so wanted to have children. I grew
up always knowing that I was adopted. I think I was
probably 3 when they first started discussing it with me.
Later that year my parents gave birth to my sister, something
that was "physically improbable."
I always felt wanted and loved. I still do. My parents
never showed any difference in their love for us. If
anything they overcompensated for my being adopted. My
sister and I were loved, spoiled, and adored. I never
had any trouble fitting in, in fact most people wouldn't
believe I was adopted, as I resemble both parents and my
sister. I am however very different in my attitudes, likes
& dislikes, talents, etc...
I remember
at about age 10 starting to wonder why my biological mother
had given me up. I always just assumed that she was very
young, I was her first child and she just wanted something
better for me. Later I would find this assumption to be
totally incorrect. I never had any desire to search for
my birth family until one day in 1991 when I was 30 years
old, my adopted mother approached me and said that she thought
I should give serious consideration to searching, as the
adoption caseworker had told my parents that I had 3 older
siblings. What a shock!! I immediately felt a desire to
find them and to know if they might be brothers. (The
only thing I ever felt I missed out on growing up) My
mother helped me search. She went to her safe deposit
box and retrieved all the papers she had relevant to my
adoption. Low and behold, one of them contained the
birth mothers last name. I was supposed to have been
blacked out but was omitted in error. It only took
3 phone calls and about an hour to locate her. She was
shocked to say the least. Her other 4 children (3
older/1 younger) knew nothing about me and they were all very
close. She would have to tell them and get back with me.
She promised to call within 3 days. She did call and
tearfully announced that everyone was very excited and
wanted to meet me. Several weeks later I drove to
Jacksonville, to meet them.
The meeting was terrific
and one sibling was in fact a brother. We bonded
instantly and have stayed in close touch ever since. I
have since married and had a daughter. My brother and
his wife came to Alabama to see us in the hospital when
she was born.. I have had a friendly yet somewhat distant
relationship with my birthmother. I guess in part it is
because although she very much wants us to be a part of her
life, she is unwilling to share the name of my birth father
with me. She says she promised that she would never
tell. So you see, even though many pieces of my life
puzzle have been found there are still a couple of very
important ones missing.
The other
important piece is the daughter that I gave birth to on June
21, 1982 at Bayfront Medical Center in St. Petersburg.
She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. 8 lb.. 1/2 oz
23 " long. Auburn hair and just perfect. She
was born by c-section so we stayed together in the hospital
for 7 days. But we did not leave together. I was
unwed and unemployed with no way to provide for her all
physical comforts of life. I loved her from the moment I
knew she existed. I still love her, and long for the day
I can hold her in my arms and tell her again. I have
beautiful pictures of us together when she was 9 days old, but
my heart aches to see what she has become. To know that
she is alive and well and happy. To be able to sit down
with her and help her complete the missing pieces in her life
puzzle. For her to know that she has a wonderful 4 year
old stepsister and for her to know that I will always be here
for her when ever she is ready or feels the desire to find me.
I hope that I have made it easy by registering with the agency
and all of the registries.
I have an adopted
child too. A stepson. He is not legally adopted
but in my heart I have adopted him as my own. You see I
am not just one member of the triad, I am all three. I feel
that I understand adoption in a way that most never will.
From every possible position. The adoptee, the birth
mother, and the adoptive mother, I am all three.
If
I can be of help to anyone else out there who is searching, I
offer my support and love.
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